Background Patterns
How, at the start, you learned to fit in to your family's history, ways, values, traditions, etc.

At birth you entered a world and a family already in place. All you could do was try to understand it the best your could and make a place for yourself. The ways you did that still influence you in many ways, through the patterns you created as a child to manage your childhood world.

You entered a family with its own unique traditions and history, its values and definition of "who we are," its private secrets and public boasts, and its attitudes about religion, politics, work and education. It carried unique genetic codes, including inheritable diseases. While these patterns are "in the background," they are basic to who you are. You cannot avoid their influence. You had no choice over who your parents would be, what your ancestors were like, or what genetic difficulties would be passed along to you. So you tried to fit in the best you could with your parents, any siblings already there, grandparents and other relatives…all with family influences of their own, and all of which formed a rich and complicated mixture!

Some ways to think about your "Background" patterns:

Your Family Motto: What phrase sums up your family’s attitudes or view of life.

Family Culture: Think about how your family’s religion, race/national origin, language, etc., may have shaped and limited your view of yourself and others when you were a child.

Family Values: What was important to your family when you were a child: money? social standing? education? Doing for others? How do family values then shape what’s important to you today?

Family Atmosphere: What was daily life like in your home? Tense? Happy? Punishing? Fast-paced? Critical? How did your parents "create" the atmosphere, and how did they modify the other’s effect? How do you repeat (or rebel against) your childhood family atmosphere in your own home today?

Family Secrets: Did your family have "secrets" or "skeletons in the closet," something (a past event) or someone (a "black sheep") family members didn’t talk about (or if they did, in whispers)?

Family Stories: Did your family have favorite stories from its history, such as "How we came here"(this country, town, etc.), or stories about family members that summarize or clarify "why" the family is like it is in some way? Were they humorous? Dark and foreboding? clear examples of preferred behavior?

Family Continuity: Did your family have reunions, a genealogy, visits, get-togethers? How did they enlarge/reinforce your view of what your family? How, today, do you "continue" your childhood family?

Childhood Setting: Where did you live as a child? (City? Small town? Farm? the Woods?) Did you move around as a child (if so, how often, and why?), or live in one place? How do you think this affected your friendships and schooling? Did you live with someone else (relative, foster family, etc.)? What kind of residence: apartment? house? Mansion? Hut? What was your neighborhood like, and the people within it? What country were you born in? Did you live in as a child? What part(s) of this country did you live in? What region of the country? Did you stay put or move around?

Family Names: Were you named for someone in your family? Who and why? Did you like or dislike your name? Why? Are you a "Junior" or the like? What was/is your "nick-name" and why? Did your family have other words or names to describe something about you or your influence, such as "Princess," "Little Professor," "Trouble-maker," "Dummy" or similar titles.