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Basic
Patterns
How we learned to
behave with others
based on our childhood position among our siblings
Adler believed a strong influence on
personality is our sibling position. There is the numerical position (oldest, middle,
youngest, only, etc.) and psycho-social position (based on sex, illness, talent, looks,
intelligence, parental preferences, etc.). From your sibling setting, you created ways to
think and behave which you still use with others today.
Adler’s best known ideas are the inferiority feelings, and
compensation/over-compensation to achieve superiority. We did this with siblings by trying
to overcome, dominate, or be superior in a different field. Such actions result in Basic
Patterns which, as adults, we repeat with sibling-like others: friends, coworkers or
supervisors, etc.
The session includes ways to compare yourself to siblings. We look at sibling
relationships and how they affect you today in relation to sibling-like adults as well as
your actual siblings.
Some ways to think about your "Basic"
patterns:
What was your numerical position: Oldest? Middle? Youngest? Only? Boy? Girl? How do you
think your position influenced your childhood? Relations with your siblings?
Which sibling do you think your parent(s) liked best and least? Why? How did that affect
you?
How did you compare with your siblings on the following? What influence do these and
similar kinds of comparisons have on your relationships today with other adults? What
would you change?
| Intelligence |
Conformity |
| Rebellion |
Looks |
| Strength |
Helpfulness |
| Leadership |
Following/going along |
| "Problem-child" |
Easily hurt |
| Being Critical |
Spoiled/pampered |
| Cooperative |
Competitive |
Did you have a "ghost
sibling" (sibling who died in infancy)? If so, what was the influence?
Did a sibling have extended illness, mental problems, handicap, accident, etc.?
How were boys and girls treated differently in your home? How did siblings feel about
that?
Which sibling was most spoiled? Punished? Rewarded? Criticized? Who was "the
favorite?" Why?
Which sibling was most like Mom? Like Dad? In what way(s)?
What 3 words best describe your childhood: 1:_________________ 2:_________________
3:_________________
What was your biggest problem as a child? What could you do to "solve" it today?
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