| TOPIC: "Role
expectations and role disappointments as an explanation for conflict in role sets
(marriages, parenting, etc.), a concept borrowed from Meadian Role Theory." FROM: Bob Herrmann-Keeling,
webmaster
COMMENTS: Meadian role theory posits role sets composed of two roles, called
generally, "ego" (self) and "alter" (other). Specifically, the two
roles have content identified by role labels, such as "parent/child,"
"husband/wife," "student/teacher," "boss/employee," etc.
Roles are defined in part by general or cultural terms ("This, at this time in this
culture, is what a husband is like...") and in part by expectations for that role by
(a) the self ("This is how I define myself as a husband..." and by (b) the other
("This is how I define my partner as a husband"). In each case, role
definitions include role expectations. ("Because I define my
husband in these terms, which include specific behaviors and attitudes on his part, therefore
I expect that he will behave accordingly.")
A problem endemic to role sets and their accompanying role definitions and expectations is
that people in their roles do not always behave as we expect them to. They act
differently. Such failures to behave according to role expectations leads to role
disappointment on the part of the person who expects one thing but experiences
something else.
For example: In a typical
traditional marriage, partners expect sexual loyalty to the partnership. Unfaithfulness
(having an affair, for example) by the role partner contradicts the role expectation and
results in disappointment in behavior of the role partner ("Alter").
"Ego" (who is disappointed, then attempts various things to bring Alter's
behaviors into line with expectations, in addition to doing some things to deal with the
betrayal (e.g., screaming, crying, physical attacks, cognitive constructions such as
anger, depression, etc.), and so on.
The point is that when one role
partner's behavior contradicts the other partner's role expectations of that role partner,
conflict and ensuing behaviors to re-balance are a result. One of the behaviors may be the
disappointed partner's insistence that they couple see a lawyer about a divorce, see a
marital therapist,etc.
It seems reasonable to believe that this concept from Meadian role theory could extend
Adlerian psychology's thinking about couples, relationships, explanation of behaviors,
etc. Any comments?
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