Major Adlerian Concepts:
6. Family Constellation

Adler introduced the idea that individual attitudes and behaviors are learned within the family, which is the child’s first experience with society. This takes place in three ways which, like several stars that appear in the sky to make a pattern, is a "constellation":

1. Sibling position (numerical and psycho-social) is influenced by birth-order, comparisons with sibling, and the child’s sex.

While several thousand studies of sibling position support Adler’s early reasoning on the topic, Adlerians view the psycho-social position of the child relative to siblings as more important than mere numerical placement. This takes into account innate intelligence, whether a child is wanted, spoiled, abused or neglected, etc., the influence of the sex of each sibling (including traditional parental preferences), which parent the child most or least favors or resembles, behaviors and attitudes of the siblings among each other, parental comparisons between children, a child’s special gifts or talents, special problems such as handicaps or retardation, and more.

2. Parental examples are important as the young child seeks to understand what it means to be "a grown-up." So the child pays attention to parental models of adult roles: male and female, mother & father, husband & wife, etc. Imitation of these roles in play and imagination becomes the foundation for later adult self-definitions and relationships.

Meadian role theorists as well as researchers in marriage and family have confirmed Adler’s assertions that how a child perceives parental behavior in adult roles is a major influence on how the eventual adult will adopt, adapt, accept, or reject those same roles for the self

3. Family atmosphere includes the family’s social status, its views and definitions of itself, the home’s emotional climate, daily life in the home, family ideas about correct behavior, etc. Adler saw that what is learned in the family (the child’s first experience with community) is central to one’s later self-image, relationships, work, marital choices, parenting, moral behavior, and how one pursues one’s goals.

This is a key point in Adler’s understanding of the formation of the child personality. Again, family sociologists as well as cultural anthropologists have noted the influence of the family setting on the child and later adult. Among such influences are family stories, "place" at the family table, waking and bed-time rituals, family likes and dislikes, the family’s emotional climate (serious, fun-loving, pleasure-seeking, goal-oriented, etc.), celebrations of key events (birthdays, anniversaries) and holidays; vacations, hobbies, and "spare time"; etc.

But what is "family"??

In a graduate school seminar years ago, our professor insisted that, together and with unanimity, we define "family." We couldn't do it. That is, we could not agree on one single definition that took all variations into account. Of course the standard "mom, dad, a son, a daughter, and a dog" was quickly shot down. At some point a key Adlerian idea comes into play: That however we personally define something is the definition we go by. ("Subjectivity is truth" as Kierkegaard said, meaning "What you believe to be true, for you is The Truth on which you will then base your actions." So then, "family" becomes what we decide it means for us. One of us includes adopted children, another of us includes gay partners as parents, a third of us says "This is a family, even though there are no children in it," and so on.

Adler was a person of his time (first third of the 20th century) and place (Vienna, Austria) and family (raised in an at least observant Jewish family with mother, father, brothers and sisters) and cultural circumstances (middle class male in a male-dominated society which had certain notions about men, women, children, work, and the world). All of which, and more, were reflected in some of his ideas (including the family, family atmosphere, sibling position, etc.). In some cases he rejected the ideas of his setting and blazed new trails for the brave to follow; in other case he assumed cultural ideas, perhaps without even questioning them, much as we often do today.